I just made out with a guy for $7.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
