I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
