just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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