My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
