the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize