remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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