Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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