Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize