Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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