All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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