Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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