I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
