Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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