hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
