she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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