How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
