im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
