Ambien. No doubt about it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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