Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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