yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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