is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
