Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
