her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
