how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
