I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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