I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
