about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
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And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
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I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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