I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
