Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
