I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
