woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
