i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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