What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The adults are the big ones right?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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