Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize