I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
