this just has baby written all over it
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
