Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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