I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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