dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
