btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
