but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
