Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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