Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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