So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
