No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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