Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
