If i come over, it means nothing
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
