How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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