I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I want to have your abortion
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
