My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
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I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
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I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.