Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
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He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
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wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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