he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.