my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
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