I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
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I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
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You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?