can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
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I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.