Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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