Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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