Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
