I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize