I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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