***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
