so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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